Let's talk about one very important issue in my life. People love it, people hate it, some are just no comment about it. But if you were to ask me, I still see it as a gift, my voice.
Last time I checked, it was being magnified when I first entered into high school during Form 1, which is by exact, the age of 13. That was the first time when i remembered really well that some guy, comment about my voice. I remembered it was a guy from my class, and he said something like ‘your voice sounds like Lin Chi Ling (林志玲), a so-called top model in Taiwan with angel's face and devil's body shape and of course, baby voice. I wasn't so sure about who she was at that time, so of course I don't bother much. But then when I happen to watch her and hear her in the TV news once, I know something is wrong!
Basically, I also don't like her voice. I mean yea, she doesn't pretend to be so, but I just can't bear a girl with this height actually speaks with that kind of voice. But again what? Does that matter if I like her or not? She still has uncountable fans all around the world!
Since then, I started to realize my voice isn't that normal. That was the first time I recorded myself and whenI listened back, I almost kill myself!! I don't know what the hell is happening to the voice! It just doesn't sound like what I used to hear from myself when I talk. I asked my brothers: Do you think there is anything wrong with my voice?' and they answered: 'No ar.. nothing wrong also.' Whenever I answered a home's phone call, the other side will always say something like, 'Is mummy there?' or 'Ask mummy to come'. Yea, since then everyone surrounding take it as an issue, including me myself! I started to care so much about people's comment on my voice. So much...
Sometimes I really wonder, is that really a gift? I somehow hope that I can be normal. I dont want a voice as deep as a man, just a normal girl's sweet voice will do.
When I met new friends, or new people, they will be so curious about my voice. Whenever they first heard of me talking, they will link it with either Lin Chi Ling or Ya Tou (丫头). I once got a question like: 'Is this your real voice?' OR WHAT!? I PURPOSELY SPEAK IN THAT VOICE TO YOU!? WHO THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE?? DO I REALLY NEED TO MAKE MYSELF SUFFER SO MUCH BY CHANGING MY VOICE AND SPEAK TO YOU?? Urghhhhhhhhhh!
Seriously, I don't know how long this voice is going to last. I also wonder about what kind of voice am I having when I reached the stage as an old woman. I hope the voice goes mature as I grew older. It's really disgusting listening to an old woman talking like child, I strongly agree with that!
But still I feel soooo grateful! My friends never complain about my voice. Well, some of them yea, but it's just because I spoke too loud or with too high frequency, which sometimes under-control I know, but other than that, they tell me they love my voice. They tell me that is a special gift from God, they tell me not to care about others but just speak like who I am. They protect me against those haters, telling them that's my real voice. Most importantly, they accept me as a whole, they say they still love me no matter what!
To my friends, CHEERS! It wouldn't be that easy without all of you. I just can't imagine if all of you hate me because of my voice, I would rather be a dumb! But thank God, you are all there by my side, never hate my voice nor having any problem with it. Thank you! ♥
To haters, which most probably stand for only 1 basis point among those i know, yea you are just a tiny minority of 1 basis point!! Don't ever bother about my social life, I live happily with all my TRUE FRIENDS around who take my voice just as a normal one. To be exact, I can't actually tell you how many are they as you know, uncountable as well. And also, my parents love me sooo much! I am the only daughter is clearly not the reason, they just love me so much no matter how many daughters they have. Hence, if you are not able to accept me, please dont ever force yourself to. Take it easy, I will NOT BOTHER AT ALL.
XOXO |